Divorce: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Divorce%3A+the+Good%2C+the+Bad%2C+and+the+Ugly

Mia Egerman , Marissa Pycha, and Cloe Hartley

The divorce rate has since continued to grow, and today is nearing 40%. Ergo, more and more kids are having to face the struggle of adjusting to a new home life. Aside from the apparent change in life at home, divorce can impact a child in concerning ways. With every family being different, it’s inevitable each situation will differ as well. If the divorce is amicable, the transition can be more gentle for the child, and will make for an easier adjustment. Yet, often the clash between two parents can result in an unstable environment for the kids. Here are first hand accounts on some real ways that divorce has played out in some Titan’s lives.

On the positive end of the spectrum, one student says her parents divorce was handled with maturity. Her parents got married prior to the birth of her older sister because they felt an obligation to. When she was in just sixth grade, her mom and dad sat her down to tell her they would be separating and moving into two new houses. She had always been left out of their disputes for her own good, but she to this day doesn’t know why they split. The student claims that this lack of communication resulted in her never finding full closure. Despite this, her situation was one of the better ways that divorce can be handled. Living with each parent 50/50, she says that her home environment is healthier now, and her parent’s seem much happier not together.

We learned from another student that not all divorces are just a battle for custody, but can present a different set of complications. This student told us that although there was fighting and an awkward vibe in the house before the split was made known, he discovered a new conflict with his dad. Him and his sister uncovered a whole new side to their dad that not even his mom has seen. He had created multiple other relationships on the internet behind his mom’s back- but with the same gender. He didn’t know how to inform his mom of his findings because regardless of what his dad would have to say about the case, a divorce was the next step. The hardest part about the adjustment was not only the physical aspects, but the resentment he felt towards his dad for breaking up the family. He felt as if their relationship was broken beyond repair, but that he’d eventually need to heal somehow. He began to meet with a therapist regularly in hopes of finding an answer to his questions. Pretty soon, he felt strong enough to open up to his dad about how both him and his sister were affected by his selfish choices, and how he’d plan to move forward in their relationship. He says now they’re a lot better and meet up for dinner about once a week to catch up. It seems like it’s been tough for this titan, but he reassures he’s thankful for what has happened to him for the sake of his family’s happiness.

As a kid who experienced two divorces, this student is familiar with adjusting to new family dynamics. When her mother and father got divorced she was only a year old so it wasn’t a significant adjustment. However, she remembers the aftermath of the divorce well. For many years, her parents battled over the custody agreement which caused tension. Although they tried to keep it civil, both her and her brother could sense the tension. That caused her stress because she wanted her parents to be happy but could tell it took a toll on them. Thankfully, despite the divorce she maintained a healthy relationship with both her parents. At the age of 14 her dad and step mom of 12 years divorced. At this point her father and step mom had a child, and it was hard watching her little sister go through what she did. Although it wasn’t a divorce between her mother and father, she still had a hard time not living with her step mom anymore considering she was a huge part of her life. The situation wasn’t ideal but in the end she she has two present parents and splits equal time with each parent.

If your parents are divorced, you have your own story on how your life has changed. Divorce has a very negative stigma behind it. Yet, every student who shared their story to us said they wouldn’t have wanted their parents to stay together. At the end of the day, our parents deserve happiness just as much as we do.