Titan Times

The student news site of Tuscarora High School

The student news site of Tuscarora High School

Titan Times

The student news site of Tuscarora High School

Titan Times

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The Bard’s Story in a Tavern


It isn’t very often that a tavern is incredibly busy, especially when that tavern is inside the poorer side of town, but then again, it isn’t very often that an adventurer volunteers their time to tell the common folk a story about their adventures. That is precisely what is happening at the Rose Head Tavern tonight; a tiefling bard, known for being one of the members of the famed “TPK” has come to tell a story. As the tavern keep tried to keep the drunkards in line, the bard spoke.

“Greetings, and thank you all for coming to hear my tale! My name is Zorcius, and as you may have heard, I am an adventurer, here to tell you all a story; the story of how me and my party conquered death.”

The tavern went quiet; you could hear a pen drop. The patrons knew the bard was merely exaggerating, or that TPK was more powerful than they thought; adventurers are incredibly powerful after all, but to hear the bard claim they could beat death was just ridiculous.

“That’s right! And I don’t mean we just evaded death, through the use of a revival spell, I mean we bested her in a trial by combat, and forced her to revive us!” The bard boasted.

“It all started after our first victory, we had killed a demon, and had traveled to the capital, this very city! A fortnight and a half ago, my party and I had just emerged victorious in a battle against a ferocious demon. Soon after, we reported our victory to the local guard captain, and he knew that such a small town couldn’t give us a reward large enough to match our deed, so he sent us off to the capital, this very city. The captain, a dear friend of ours, did try to reward us, however, and sent us off with a magical sword. Afterwards, he sent us off-”

“Wait, hold on, demons re-materialize in the abyss after you kill them, so you couldn’t have actually killed a demon,” One of the patrons interrupted.

“Ah, yes, well, during the fight, we casted a spell that prevented it from reforming,” the bard replied, fidgeting with his fingers. “Anyway, back to my story, our beloved guard captain sent us off to the capital, and we met up with his brother, who was so impressed, he sent us off to the king to report our achievement!”

“Doesn’t the kingdom have a specialized force of guards who kill dozens of demons a day? Merely killing a single one doesn’t seem that impressive.” Another patron interrupted.

Looking around, the bard could see everyone in the tavern nodding in agreement, the tavern goers had some surprisingly good points. They were obviously skeptical of his story.

“Yes, the kingdom does, however, this was a new species of demon that no one had seen before, so it was quite remarkable! The king applauded us, because of our discovery, and sent us off to look for more.”

“But wouldn’t the king be angry if you guys killed it? I mean he’d probably want to study it, and learn about it, but he wouldn’t be able to do that since you killed it.” Yet another patron cut in.

“The king excused our mistake, due to us not knowing it was a new species at the time, and please, no more interruptions!” the bard hastily replied, continuing to fidget with his fingers

The bard paused, looking around the room, trying to hide his scowl. The tavern went quiet once more, but many of the patrons had stopped listening, believing that this was just a tall tale, and not something that actually happened.

“Thank you, now when we got back, we found our small town had been attacked! Plumes of fire rose hundreds of feet; you could see the smoke for miles!” The bard exclaimed dramatically, as if performing a play, “On the outskirts of the town there were dozens of demons, they had come for revenge! Walls of flames, and dozens of demons blocked our way. The stakes were high, failure meant death, and the bodies of the town guard littered the streets. And yet, we battled our way to the center of the town, as the smoke filled our vision, and we were hacking and coughing all-.”

“Wait,” another patron interrupted, ignoring the bard’s previous request “You’re a tiefling, everyone knows that fire wouldn’t do much to you.”

“Yes, that is true, but the rest of my party aren’t, and it’s not like I’m immune to fire, it just doesn’t hurt as much, and please, no more interruptions this time!” the bard replied, scowling; he was obviously annoyed at the constant interruptions. “Anyways, if no one has any comments, I will continue. When we made our way to the center of town, we glimpsed a dastardly sight; our beloved guard captain had fallen to the leader of the fiends. We wasted no time and rushed out, unleashing a flurry of blows against the beast!”

The bard paused, and looked around the room. Everyone was waiting, staring in anticipation. He loved the attention.

“However, the fiend fiercely fought back, and soon enough, the beast had slain every last one of us! This was not the end however, during our final moments, death herself had visited us to mock us. We all gathered the rest of our strength, and launched our strongest attacks against her for daring to make fun of us. To our surprise, she fell to our blows! We absorbed her power, and used it to revive ourselves, and kill every last fiend that dared threaten our town. And that, my friends, is how TPK has bested even death”

“Halt!” a voice yelled from the door, interrupting yet again. 

“What is it this time?!” the bard yelled, as several heavily armored guards stormed through the door.

“You are under arrest for identity theft, and impersonating an adventurer!” The voice replied as the guards apprehended the bard. “Please do not resist, or we will have to subdue you through the use of force!”

The bard was quickly escorted out of the Rose Head Tavern in shackles, which left the patrons wondering, how much of what the bard said was true? And if the bard was truly impersonating a member of TPK, how did he know so much about their adventures?

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